Life Letters: On Marriage


Today is a pretty special day.

If you count our dating years, Tom and I have been together for 14 years. I am 29 years old, so that is pretty much half of my life.ย Half of my life. I have known this man.

We were awkward teenagers together. We made it through college with a long-distance relationship. And today, we’ve been married for 7 of those 14 years.

I’ve had friends tell me that they really admire Tom and mine’s relationship. They ask us how we made it through a 4-year long-distance relationship, how we work through our differences, how we make it look so easy.

So when my friend Lauren asked meย what’s the toughest thing about being married?, she kind of threw me for a minute. That’s not an easy question to answer!


After our wedding, our friends and family would ask what it felt like to be married. And my answer was always that it felt just like dating, except he never went home! The switch from dating and living at home with our parents to being married and living together was hard. Just in the small details you don’t know about someone until you live with them. How they sort (or don’t sort) their laundry, leaving dishes in the sink, how the other person interprets time when you ask them to do something (I asked you to do the dishes. Why are you still sitting on the couch 38 seconds later?).

Now? With 7 years of marital bliss under our belts? I’d say the toughest thing about being married is the trap of taking each other for granted. We have been each other’s lives for so long that it’s easy to forget the incredible responsibility we have to each other. It’s easy to go through the motions of our daily lives and miss the little things. It’s not that we don’t appreciate each other; it’s that I think sometimes it’s easy to forget to truly see each other. To pause our regular lives and really connect, really listen. Because this is what matters most in a relationship – to listen, to love, to be truly connected to one another.


Happy Anniversary, Tom. Each and every day with you is time well-spent. And I wouldn’t trade it for the world.

8 thoughts on “Life Letters: On Marriage

  1. Janice @ NearlyHandmade

    Ah! Congratulations you two love birds! ๐Ÿ™‚ It is so comforting knowing that you found your match! I wouldn’t trade my hubby for the world. He’s in the air force so we’ve spent much of our relationship apart. It’s tough, but it makes the time we ARE together so much sweeter. I wish everyone could find a love like ours (and yours!) ๐Ÿ™‚ P.S. Thanks for stopping by NearlyHandmade last week.
    Janice @ NearlyHandmade recently posted…Edging the Garden: A Necessary EvilMy Profile

    1. Two Purple Couches Post author

      Thank you Janice ๐Ÿ™‚ I can’t imagine how challenging it is to have a spouse in the air force or other services! The four years we spent apart in college were hard enough, and that was just school! I’m so glad you’ve found your match as well ๐Ÿ™‚

  2. Lauren @ The Thinking Closet

    This is absolutely beautiful to read…and it’s so neat to hear more of you and Tom’s story together. And I really love the reminder to appreciate the small things…to really be present together in the now and not take each other for granted. I think you’re SO right…and that’s such an easy thing to miss. Congrats on 7 years of marriage, 14 years together, and the many years to come!
    Lauren @ The Thinking Closet recently posted…How to Make a Gift Box Out of Paper & $100 Jewelry GiveawayMy Profile

    1. Two Purple Couches Post author

      Thank you so much Lauren! And thanks for posing your great, provocative question ๐Ÿ˜‰ It can be so easy to gloss over the small moments in our days, but I think those are really the most special, and the ones I look forward to most.

  3. Thalita @ The Learner Observer

    Oh my word, I love this post!!!! I got a little teary, to be honest because… well it’s just one of those days! I love that your story involves being teenagers and growing up together, even if that happened while you were far away from one another for a little while. Also, you’re right about it being hard to live with someone at first – Our whole first year of marriage I felt like every day I learned something new about Alex’s quirks! Thanks for sharing more of your beautiful story with us!
    Thalita @ The Learner Observer recently posted…Makeover Inspiration for Found/Thrifted PiecesMy Profile

    1. Two Purple Couches Post author

      Awww, sorry to make you teary eyed!! It’s funny how many little quirks and habits don’t come out, or aren’t fully realized, until you’re living with someone! But I guess that’s all part of the adventure!

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